going on retreat part 2

tomorrow i fly out to california for my retreat. my last post was pretty intense, as per usual in my world these days, i just write off the cuff in the moment whatever i'm feeling. at that moment, apparently, i was pretty sick of the sound of my own voice.

in general, right now, i'm really drawn to silence, and the futility of words is so obvious. it's all a story, of course (thank you b.) and yet, maybe right now, i'm just the kid in the playground who doesn't want to play anymore. i'm too tired to hold it up, and so there's a bit of a downturned lip and hands in pockets, i just wander off on my own.

i've been such a talker, a teller of tales in this lifetime, and for right now.... i'm just grateful beyond belief for the ability to stop all that, and do the alone wandering thing. when i return from retreat i'd like to write a post about the last time i felt the deep inner pull to the lonely silence. it turned out to be one of the most vitally alive times in my entire life. so.... with gratitude in hand, and a less bratty post, i say a little farewell.

and i hope for anyone who reads this, that there is a moment or two or ten when the silence captivates you with the dazzling, vibrant emptiness of who you really are.