this heart....

this juicy pulp in the chest
this senseless adoration of all things
this serenity
this fear it is too big to bear
this humanity
this absolute freedom
this surrender
this narrative
this touch
this sweeping panorama of the mountains
this world and all the darkness
this decimation of all separate sense
this undying gratitude
this depth
this sinking feeling in my gut
this sufering and storytelling and falseness
this cyclic spiraling of all things
this rapture
this terrified scrambling of the mind
this childlike wonder
this pristine empty vastness
this poetry of god
this reminder of here and now
this mirror of beauty upon every surface
this nightmare illusion of separation
this unending grace of right now
this that murders me for all isolation
this suchness
this teacher, beloved teacher
this heart, right here,
     big enough to be everywhere and nowhere,
     to be the center of it all.