what is true

is that no matter how many long paragraphs i write about the unending exploration of choice or no choice, being or doing, seeking or surrender....

the truth is large enough to hold them all. by virtue of being true, the very definition of true, is that it always must be, and never wasn't. therefore, it holds the whole enchilada.

so. i'm going to go dance for a while, and enjoy myself. if i am forced to choose, i want truth even more than i want freedom. and my truth is that while i understand, and clearly see, the dreamlike nature of this life - i love it so goddamn much. and being in it, every inch, every fiber, every movement.... is what i know to be true. here i am - and all the mental chatter is just that.

the edge of surrender is not because of choosing surrender over the fight. it's surrender in and of itself - into whatever the moment brings - weather it is tight or loose or something inbetween. that's truth. that's surrender. that's god. wiser than me by far, and big enough for everything. the not-knowing, the resting in absolute free fall, in absolute mystery, having no way to land on a this or a that, and either/or.... any of it.... the not-knowing that is the grace of this life.

i am blessed to have a life to live, and be able to smile and laugh and love. it's not mine, it never was, none of it. and the rest is..... slowly unfolding..... while i dance, and live, and laugh, and love....

so, today i hope you laugh until your sides hurt, love from endlessness into infinity, dance until you collapse, and don't know a thing.